


Perhaps, Together, We're Some Kind of Good

by linzackles



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angsty chat, Bellarke chat, F/M, bellarke angst, bellarke fluff - Freeform, but some fluff, heart to heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 10:20:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6607177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linzackles/pseuds/linzackles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 3x11: The Rover breaks down, allowing Bellamy and Clarke to talk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perhaps, Together, We're Some Kind of Good

**Author's Note:**

> Something lightly fluffy, slightly angsty that deals with some of the things 3x11 touched on. I'd just love to see them have a conversation like this :)

The Rover came to an abrupt halt.

Clarke shared a look with Raven and, panic beginning to bubble in her stomach, she slammed on the divider with her gun.

“Seems like it died,” Bellamy replied immediately, seeming somewhat sheepish.

“Just died?” she echoed.

“We did use the battery to melt Raven’s brain,” Jasper acknowledged. “Monty –”

“On it,” Monty jumped out.

“I’ll stand guard,” Octavia said.

Clarke was worried about Monty but her concern was quickly pulled when Raven seemed to be following Jasper, Sinclair and Octavia out of the Rover.

“Raven, no. They can handle it.”

“ _I'm_ the mechanic,” Raven pointed out.

“And you also almost died about three times today. You're sitting this one out.”

Raven pursed her lips, her eyes still tired but also determined. Her expression wasn’t a glare so much as an appeal, though.

“Clarke, I need this.”

_What if she loses that brilliant mind of hers?_

Clarke sighed. Raven needed control over something again, to know that she was still the same person she’d before the trauma. Clarke could relate.

“Fine. But nothing physical.”

“Yes, ma’am,” the other woman said dryly.

With another sigh Clarke climbed out then supported Raven around to the front of the Rover. Noting Bellamy still in the driver’s seat, she opened the passenger’s door.

“Not helping?”

He shrugged light-heartedly, throwing up his hands.

“I’ll let the smart people figure it out. I'm just the driver.”

She scoffed, shaking her head, and he narrowed his eyes at her.

“What?”

She shrugged off the question, climbing in beside him. There wasn’t much she could do to get the vehicle moving again, either.

The hood was up so they couldn’t see the rest of the teenagers, but Clarke smiled a little, hearing Raven bark orders then almost immediately get into a technical argument with Jasper.

“How's your arm?” Bellamy wondered.

She hadn't really thought about it, the sting a distant one, since Bellamy had tended to it, but now she turned to look at her left arm right as he lifted it into his large hands.

She temporarily forgot her words as he ran his thumb over the inch of bare skin just above the piece of material he'd wrapped around it.

Then he met her eyes pointedly and she swallowed, clearing her throat.

“It should be fine.”

Suddenly Raven was at Bellamy’s window; they both jumped apart instinctively.

With an annoyed little throat clear, Bellamy turned to Raven, who she didn’t waste time.

“Did you hear me? I said turn her over.”

“No, actually – Clarke was asking me if you had rabies.”

“Screw you, Bellamy,” Raven replied automatically, making Bellamy chuckle as he shifted to follow through on her command. Then she winced, looking at Clarke. “Sorry about that.”

Clarke shook her head.

“It’s ok. I once got clawed up by a panther – I've had worse.”

Both of them seemed surprised by this but this was quickly overtaken by disappointment when the engine didn’t start.

Raven heaved a sigh then disappeared back behind the hood.

Clarke wondered if they were going to resume their conversation from before Raven had interrupted, but Bellamy was staring straight ahead intently, his mind clearly on something else.

She was wondering whether to go out and join the others when he shifted uncomfortably.

“Look, about the last time we saw each other –”

“Don’t,” she shook her head.

His eyes wide, he met hers, and she sighed.

“You handcuffed me, I electrocuted you – we’re even.”

She didn’t want to have this conversation. Ever, if possible, but definitely not now. The things Bellamy had said that day would probably haunt her for the rest of her life and she could barely deal with what was on her plate at this moment.

“I didn’t realise you were scared,” he winced. “In my mind there was no reason to be. I was trying to protect you. It was only when Pike sentenced Kane to death when I realised…”

“Kane’s dead?!”

“No,” he shook his head. “He escaped.”

Thank god.

Every death, it seemed like, was somehow on her. If only she’d been there…

Jasper had been right, she _was_ the angel of death.

“Clarke.”

He said her name so softly that she looked up, broken from her reverie of self-loathing.

“I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have trusted Pike… But I need you to know that, no matter what, I would _never_ have let anything happen to you.”

She stared at him; at his wide sincere eyes and the regret in his jaw. She thought back to that day when he'd dragged her along, handcuffed, and she’d been scared not for her but for him.

She hadn't understood what had caused him to become so hard and distrustful; so cynical.

Tonight, thanks to ALIE, she’d gained some perspective. But at the time she’d been terrified of how Pike must have brainwashed him, enough to think all-out war was a good idea.

“Do you remember right after we landed, when we went to save Jasper?” she asked, her voice equally soft.

He frowned, perhaps trying to think that far back, and she found herself wondering what it would be like to smooth out his furrowed brow.

“I fell into that trap. And without hesitating you reached down and _caught_ me.” His eyes searched hers, not too differently from the way they had in that moment, and she stared back solidly. “From that day I _knew_ you would never let _anything_ happen to me.”

He looked surprised and she didn’t understand why. She trusted him to have her back – hadn't he realised that by now? She _needed_ him, she’d told him so.

He looked away and they didn’t speak for a while, her silently wondering what he was thinking about. Where to go from here; what to do if the Rover didn’t start.

“The chip you have,” he suddenly started, breaking her out of her thoughts again, “that’s not ALIE?”

“No, it’s…”

She cut off, feeling her cheeks heat a little. She’d felt everyone’s eyes on her earlier when she’d announced it was Lexa. She felt stupid now, admitting the same thing to just Bellamy.

“Lexa?” he finished anyway, his face quizzical.

“I know how it sounds.”

“Insane,” he nodded. “But probably not as insane as it would’ve a few hours ago – before silver goop came out of one of my friend’s heads, saving her from an AI who could control her body.”

At that Clarke cracked a smile.

Then it disappeared as she recalled the memory.

“I watched them cut it out of her neck.”

He looked concerned.

“That doesn’t mean it’s her.”

“It is!” she refuted. Then, hesitating: “… it has to be.”

He frowned again. “It has to be or it is?”

She met his eyes and immediately wanted to burst into tears, knowing what he was really asking.

_Does this really make sense or are you just desperate for it to?_

She didn’t know, anymore. All she knew was that this was her job and if she didn’t try, she’d never know.

“It doesn’t matter,” she lifted her chin. “The new Commander, Ontari, wants to wipe our people out. The only thing stopping her is having this chip.”

He cocked a brow. “So the evil new Commander wants the chip and so does ALIE – who are we _giving_ it to?”

She almost smiled. He'd said ‘we’.

It was so automatic for him to take on her burdens.

“Luna.”

“Who’s that?”

“The only person left who’s eligible to take the chip inside her.”

Carefully she avoided saying anything about Lincoln. From what she’d heard earlier between Octavia and Bellamy, it was a sensitive topic.

She still couldn’t really believe he was gone.

“And you think Lexa being inside the chip is somehow gonna help Luna?”

Absently Clarke caressed the tin the Flame was held inside.

She really didn’t know. She didn’t know what she expected once the chip was transferred – Titus had said that it only amplified the person’s personality. It wouldn’t be Lexa, not even enough of her to be significant – but the woman she’d known and loved had been ripped from this world too early; too unfairly. Clarke had to make sure that life was passed on, to someone Lexa would’ve chosen.

“Can we talk about what ALIE said?” she turned to him again.

It was a blatant change of topic, but not only for the sake of doing so – she’d been curious, tormented since the moment the words had left Raven’s lips.

“About what?”

She hesitated.

“…Us.”

He shot her a look, like he'd rather be anywhere but here, but didn’t move, looking off instead.

“I don’t know what she was talking about,” he muttered, his jaw hard.

She stared at him, contemplating giving up the topic.

But if they didn’t get it out of the way now, who knew when they'd have another opportunity?

“So the whole queen and knight thing – that’s not how you see us?”

He exhaled through his nose. “She was just trying to get to me.”

“Why would that get to you?”

He shifted. “Clarke –”

“Is that how you see us?” she pressed.

His body was stiff but after a few seconds he turned to look at her again.

“Isn't that how it is?”

She sucked in a gasp of air. She hadn't been prepared for the question being turned on her.

Still, she knew the answer.

“Of course not.”

He held her eyes for a second, searching them, before looking at something over her shoulder.

“She wasn’t wrong. You did walk in and gave orders and I fell in line.”

She was surprised by how painfully he break in his voice tugged at something inside her.

She was supposed to protect him – how could she not have known this was hurting him?

“That’s not…”

She trailed off. What was she supposed to say? That that wasn’t what she meant to do? That she didn’t expect him to follow her lead?

That wouldn’t be true. People disagreeing with her only slowed things down, as Jasper had once again proved today.

But Bellamy wasn’t Jasper, or any of the rest of them. Him she didn’t need to follow her – him she needed to support her. And she meant _needed –_ she needed him to stand by her side; to help her make decisions; to help her do the tough things.

 _Together_ , she heard him say in all her nightmares. It was the one moment, stuck in slumber and embroiled in darkness, when she didn’t feel like acid was eating out her insides.

Then they'd pull the lever – his hand fit overs hers, applying equal pressure – and it would all shatter.

“I'm sorry that’s how you thought I felt,” she finally found the words. “But I told you, Bellamy: I need you.”

He met her eyes again.

“To stop Pike.”

“No,” she said with a little breath of surprise, shaking her head.

How had she not realised this was what he'd been feeling? Why had she not been there to see it?

_May we meet again._

God, she’d been so foolish to walk away.

“I didn’t just mean then, Bellamy. I meant I need you. Always.”

Again his eyes jumped to hers, perplexed, and this time she was the one to break it as she fought back tears.

“ALIE couldn’t be more wrong.” A tear slipped out anyway and she sniffed. “Apart, we don’t… _work_.”

She wiped it away, thinking of the Gina person ALIE had mentioned. Even if this _were_ the time, she didn’t think either of them were ready to talk about their lost loved ones yet.

“I should’ve been there for you,” she said instead. “I should’ve been at Arkadia and maybe none of it would’ve happened.” She choked up and she felt Bellamy’s hand on her arm again but didn’t look up. “Lincoln –”

“That’s _not_ on you,” he replied gruffly.

She was crying fully now.

“Yes, it is,” she looked up. “He was my people and when he needed me most I wasn’t there to protect him,” she shook her head, disgusted with herself. “That’s gonna haunt me for the rest of my life.”

_Do you ever see their faces?_

She did. And, god, there were so so many.

“Clarke –”

“We need each other,” she cut him off, forcing her voice to be steadier as she met his eyes again. “You're not a follower, and I'm not a good leader.”

It still stung, thinking of Tondc.

_Maybe there are no good guys._

“Together we lead our people. Together we save them – nothing more and nothing less.”

 _Together_ , he'd said. And they'd massacred, but not gratuitously. It hadn't been an innocent village or army, it had been the people holding their family and friends hostage.

And today when she’d distracted ALIE and he'd gotten the wristband onto Raven. When he'd turned off the acid fog. When he'd brought guns to the bridge.

_Together._

_We survive together._

“I'm not leaving again.”

His eyes widened and she noticed first the sheen on them then how clearly she could see every feature of his face; his strong jawline.

Without knowing it she’d been shifting nearer to him and now they were closer than she’d realised.

She could still feel his warm thumb on the inside of her wrist and she wondered if he even knew it was still there.

He opened his mouth, about to say something, when suddenly there was a yell from outside.

“Ok, give her another try.”

They didn’t break apart as quickly as at Raven’s first intrusion, lingering in the moment for a second longer, but she did eventually move away, wiping her tears away with a sleeve and taking deep breaths as Bellamy tried starting the Rover.

The engine started up and a din broke out behind the hood.

“What would you idiots do without me?” Raven sounded smug.

“I should’ve brought more tranquilisers for when we got the chip _out_ of you,” Jasper muttered good-humouredly, and there was more noise as Raven no doubt attempted whacking him.

“Hey, _geniuses_!” Bellamy hollered out the window. “Think we shouldn’t alert all our enemies – which is everyone, by the way – that we’re here?”

That shut the noise down fast but his tone was sterner than his expression – he turned to her with a smile.

“Let’s go protect those morons.”

She broke out into a genuine smile, laughing a little, and he joined her.

For a moment they revelled in it then she grinned.

“Lead the way.”

His eyes told her he’d caught her implication and, satisfied, she opened her door. But she paused right before climbing out.

“Bellamy?”

“Hm?”

He looked back up, caught halfway between a smile and something else she couldn’t quite put her finger on – adoration, maybe.

“What I was gonna say earlier…” she admitted, “was that you aren't _‘just’_ anything.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you thought and possibly follow me on Tumblr @mrslackles and/or prompt me! :)


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